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5 Bad Things For Season 5

Season 5 will soon be upon us, there is now only 21 days to go. It’s time to start counting down to the True Blood premiere on June 10. But before we bring you all the good things that we hope. like us, you are looking forward to, we thought we’d get the not so good things out of the way first. We wouldn’t be the fanatical fans we are if there weren’t certain things that irritate us, agitate us, and in some cases have us pulling our hair out in large clammy clumps. So let’s get them all out in the open, and hopefully in 3 weeks time we’ll have got past them and be focused enough that they won’t spoil our enjoyment of our favorite show. Here’s our countdown of 5 Bad Things For Season 5.

5. Beehl

The character we all love to hate (and that’s completely okay as he’s fictional), so why is he only number 5?  Well, two reasons actually, firstly I wanted to get him done and out of the way before he contaminates our beautiful viking blog anymore than he has to (No number one spot here, another bottom of the pile is all he deserves), and secondly because after 9 months of extensive self-therapy, I am absolutely determined he is not going to ruin another season of True Blood for me. I am going to pretend he isn’t there. There’s not a lot to say about Mr Compton that hasn’t already been said, he struggles with his humanity, he steals story-lines, he shags anything that moves, he cock-blocks, he has miraculous powers for a vampire seemingly so young, and he looks silly and ridiculous every time he stands next to Eric. So I guess he’s going to look silly and ridiculous for most of this season then. Bill? Bill who? See it’s working already.

4. Unsteady Supports

True Blood has a fantastic array of supporting characters, and there’s a reason we call them that, they support the main characters in their story-lines. The likes of Arlene, Andy and Holly are perfectly brilliant as comic relief, but when the season is so damned short, at only 12 episodes, let’s not waste precious screen time on the likes of Andy’s V addiction please. This season it’s going to be Terry’s turn for promotion, and they’d better not f**K him up. So far he’s a complete darling, he puts up with Arlene, he’s got an armadillo and he’s never killed anything by accident. Next season expect the life and loves of  Jane Bodehouse to eat up valuable screen time.

3. Freakin’ Awful Fairies

Anyone who tuned in for last year’s season premiere, having never seen the show before, will quite rightly have thought WTF for pretty much the whole of the first 20 minutes. Let’s face it, fairies are very,very difficult to make look cool. In fact I can only think of one cool fairy that I have ever seen on screen, and that’s Tinkerbell from Peter Pan. True Blood really has it’s work cut out in tackling these particular supernatural creatures, but they are giving it another go this year, with the addition of Claudette and a new Claude. It looks like Jason may well be caught up in the fairy antics at the new night-club and let’s hope that he can at least inject a little bit of his Stackhouse magical charm  into their time on the show. As one of their unfortunate number has already mated with Andy Bellefleur , surely things can’t get any worse for the fae?

2. Pack Wars

Imagine this, sitting down with a glass of wine every Sunday night for 12 weeks and becoming completely absorbed in 55 minutes of full-on, smoking hot, bloody, vampire action. Well you can imagine it all you want as you’re never going to get it. For some weird reason the majority of supernatural writers out there seem to think that  dirty, furry, howling, aging, four-legged creatures are just as sexy as their immortal fanged counterparts. And basically they are just not. Every minute the weary weres are on our screens is quite frankly a minute wasted. I didn’t give a crap about the pack wars in Charlaine Harris’s books and I don’t think  I’m going to give a crap about them on the show either!

1. Sooicide

Is it coming or isn’t it? How far with the wolf will Sookie actually go? Is Alcide the True Blood Quinn? Can it actually be as completely horrific as we seem to imagine it’s going to be? All these questions will have an answer by mid-September, but in the meantime here are my multiple reasons why Sookie should not let Mr Weary into her fairy bed. These two characters have zero chemistry, she can read his mind, he’s an opinionated ass, he treated Debbie like crap, he’s not Eric, oh yeah, and she just blew his ex-girlfriend’s head off. As I’ve said many times before and will no doubt say many times again – don’t do it Sookie!

So there you go – that’s 5 not so hot things for season 5. Have I missed anything that is going to have you turning away from your television screen in dismay? Let us know what you are not so secretly dreading.

Coming soon5 (very) Good Things For Season 5

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About Evie

100% Truebie & Team Eric until the end.

25 comments on “5 Bad Things For Season 5

  1. Great Post Evie!!! I think you’ve pretty much covered all the negatives for the upcoming season. I agree with everything you’ve mentioned. I hope your good list is just as positive. Keep up the great writing!!

  2. Evie:
    Agree with everything you said.
    Now lets just hope that Alan Ball doesn’t screw Season 5 up too bad???

  3. I will try to focus only to see the Viking, although I there’s an ugly accessory that will be clinging to him most of the time…

  4. I agree with everything, except about Alcide. I would be fine if he turned out to be True Blood’s Quinn, as long as Quinn is never there.

    • I completely agree with you on that. No Quinn is definitely of the good, and I can at least tolerate Alcide.

  5. I am only gonna focus on Eric & Pam this season . I think that by Stephen & Anna being married in real life Alan Ball is writing this series about their real life . I love them don’t get me wrong it just looks like their real life is overshadowing the show . To me this should be Eric & Sookie story their struggles and their love for one another . I wish they went the way the books were I think Eric character is not getting the credit he deserves . Alex bring that character to life in my eyes wonderful actor sad that Alan Ball wants to keep him in Stephen / Bill shadow .

    • I agree with you on the Stephen & Anna issue and I’m hoping that Alan Ball’s departure from the series will rectify that problem by the time we get to season 7.

    • yep, eric and pam are the only characters that are worth to care about at the moment; don*t know how anyone who has read the books and knows how sookie should be lik likes thebad TV version of Sookie, the writers did a great job in stupifiying her; apologizing to Beehl and basically turning her into Bills doormat…

      and I still think they put Bill together with ERic this season as much as they can so that their male lead gets more attention, he always gets outshined by Eric/ Alex (like at comic con last year) and the writers so desperately try to make moyer/ bill more popular. And also thats why they are not putting sookie with eric together and mess up the main couple from the book series because AB seems to have a crush on the stupid Bill sookie pairing…

  6. Love this post! Especially the long self-therapy session leading up to season 5. I’ve been trying the same thing, trying not to let my loathing of a single character ruin the show for me any more. I still can’t bear to see anything from the second half of last season a single try at epi 8 threw all my good intentions out the window! Your post regarding #5 will be my new mantra “Bill, Bill who”. I agree with all 5 points made. We should know fairly quickly into the first episode or two whether the spark can be reignited and the mantra works.

  7. i agree andy’s vamp addiction that like totally came out of no where and especially at the end of season 4 when he goes with holly. really? we all know that terry will no longer be normal i’d say probably after episode 2 of season five it might be more. yes i agree if they were to do something with sookie and alcide it should’ve been done with before. that sucks that they have taken where sookie doesn’t want anything to do with them. i heard there will not be much of sookie and eric like there was last season :(
    rawr!

  8. Beehl would be number one on my list.

  9. Agree completely, and you even ranked them in the order I would have. I stopped acknowledging Bill about two seasons ago so #5 for the guy who’s not there in my mind. From the start, too many unnecessary characters who contribute nothing of importance has been a huge complaint of mine. That said, I do like some of them, let’s hear it for Terry, so #4 is a good slot. We don’t need no stinking fairies, #3 good place. The wolf pack, or almost anything to do with them is boring, boring, boring. #2 say yeah. #1 is definitely the ranking for any hookup between Sookie and Alcide. The guy rankles me every time he comes along. He growls a lot, parades around shirtless (body obsessed narcissist rube,) and I don’t like to get personal, but after two seasons he still seems to be struggling with how to portray his character. Alex owned the part of Eric the first time he came on screen. Looking forward to your 5 good thing about the new season.

  10. OMG, I died when I read “Soocicide”, died laughing that is! I love it and I agree on all points. I’m just hoping that by the end of the season Eric and Sookie will be getting back together so then we can start the next season off with them as a true couple, a hopefully bonded couple. I can dream, can’t I?

  11. Great post, I wholeheartedly agree with it all (especially your disdain for Alcide, ugh, lol) and I look forward to its counterpart “5 (very) Good Things For Season 5″ =)

    E&SL 4Evar ^^

  12. bill will always be the worst thing to watch, because its just annoying for anyone who has read the books that bill always seem to get book scenes of other characters and gets constantly propped up:(

  13. I agree with just about everything you said except on the Quinn front. It is though Quinn that Sookie finds her way back to Eric. That is what I wish for, Eric and Sookie back together. (Some one please slap some sense back into my brain). I know it will never happen but I can hope.

  14. The writers might be forced to put Eric and Sookie back together because seriously they will loose fandom if they put sookie with Bill ugly ass ….Eric is the most popular character on the show …..I know they love Bill but inspite of the writers efforts Eric is the main attraction….like 70% of the fandom always wants Eric and Sookie together as a couple they know this whether they acknowledge it or not AB has heard what the fandom wants ……this is the first that Eric’s picture is on the promo and I don’t believe its a coincidence…..they are being force into whom the male lead on the show really is…..its Eric all day, every day.

  15. I have a difficult time with Alcide and basically find his character boring. But I would prefer Sookie with Alcide over Bill any day. Lets just cross our fingers and hope that eventually Sookie and Eric will end up together.

    • Anyone would be better than Bill, hell, I’d rather see her end up with Jason over him. Okay, that might be taking it too far…lol! Although, this is the South and I wouldn’t put anything past this show.

  16. Great post Evie – its like eating your vegetables first. Get the not so palatable stuff out of the way so we can concentrate on the meat ;)

  17. the soon alcide gets offed the better i mean come on! sookie blasted debbies head off and alcide is a lame excuse for a were and why oh why can’t bill get killed off is it too much to ask?!

  18. The show has too many characters. I’d prefer the focus to be on Sookie and her plot than what’s going on with Sam and his shapeshifters.

  19. Great post….good to get annoying stuff of of the way…looking forward to read the positive list (is there one :) )

  20. Excellent list! I think you hit the nail on the head with Sookie and Alcide as well! I pray this isn’t Alan’s Quinn! By the grace of God I pray they don’t end up in bed together!! Ugh! That would totally blow!

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