Episode 9 Recap: The one with the f%)king traitor!

We’re into the final third of  season 5 with episode 9, “Everybody wants to rule the world”, and just when we thought things couldn’t get any more bizarre, yep, they actually do. This was one of the strongest episodes so far this season, and my inner-trubie is definitely doing a happy dance today.

As we near the climax of the season the side story lines are getting wrapped up so we can all concentrate on the good stuff for the run-in.  Firstly Terry’s hideous fire demon saga (hopefully) reached its conclusion, and I thought it went out on a high note, with a terrific turn from Arlene, and I’ll admit I was pretty shocked when Terry actually went ahead and ended it by shooting Patrick in the head. Now those two can get back to doing what they are best at please, providing great comic relief.

Secondly the local hate gang were all rounded up, arrested or shot, by possibly the world’s most inept police force. (Although Sam reminded Andy later that Bud was in fact a far worse sheriff than he was). Of course we all knew time was running out for The Dragon when Office Stackhouse declared that the Obama masks could be because “they don’t want to get recognized”. No major surprise that Bud and his sweetie were right in the middle of the pig-shit, and once they had the luckless Sookie in their clutches the countdown clock really began to tick. “She’s a mind reader with electric fingers and a fetish for fangers” declares the overweight criminal mastermind in the pink fluffy slippers.  Her fiendish superiority doesn’t last the day though as she is hunted down and beaten up by the seemingly ever-angry naked Luna.

I suspect that Luna ain’t going to get much happier next week either now that Russell Edgington has given her only daughter to his new boy-toy as a present, all because Steve never had a pet, in his house there was only god. Yes, story-lines like this could only happen on True Blood. In defence of the were pack, both the growly grandma and even JD did try to tell the unhinged 3000 year old vampire that it wasn’t a good idea, but then Russell forgot his imitation southern drawl and went all Dracula on their ass. “Did you think my blood was free, you silly, silly dog”. Seriously how freaking awesome was that? I need to see a lot more of the dark lord, Count Edgington please!

A not  very honourable mention to Alcide who had some kind of flashback, blah, blah, that I didn’t listen to blah, blah and then hooked up with his dad, blah, blah. With a bit of luck they’ll hitch up the canopy and go on a very, very long road trip.

Now it’s down to the really good stuff.

Sookie didn’t actually make much progress in her quest to bring justice to the mysterious killer on the bridge this week. A freshly revived Lafayette tried to make contact with Freddy Kruger / Voldemort / whoever but the pesky apparition wasn’t coming out to play today. Instead we got some more not so good advice from Gran. Seriously Sookie we get it that everyone loves their Gran but this is the woman who approved of Bill Compton, who said Eric’s love for you wouldn’t last and told you that you might as well give up on relationships as we all die alone. Her cryptic advice this week led  Sookie to walk right into the middle of the Shifter killings mess. (See above). Just stay dead from now on please Gran, because Godric you ain’t. Still, despite the setback, this storyline has great potential and I’m enjoying seeing Sookie engage her brain for once this season. Oh and later on Sookie’s fairy friends appear to let her know that it’s the vampires themselves who are starting a war. Unfortunately they didn’t tell her whose idea the whole thing was!

Down at Fangtasia Tara is hoarding the Tru Blood, as news of the factory bombings is causing chaos in the un-dead world. Pam’s not having any of it, “whatever comes next we keep our heads down, our tits up and the Tru Blood flowing”.

Tara, who is getting to know the Pam that she doesn’t like other people to see, isn’t fooled anymore by the bravado, she knows she is missing Eric, and after her progeny gets back to work with the parting farewell of “Suck me vampire Barbie”, Pam mournfully fingers a photograph of her and her absent maker that is propped up in the frame of his Viking longboat (no not that Viking longboat, honestly ladies, it’s a real Viking longboat). Pam, however, may not be able to stay calm for too much longer, as the reject from a goth metal band that the authority have apparently sent to take over Eric’s area commits probably the greatest sin in the entire history of the show. I don’t mean the bit where he says that vamps can feed from humans or even the bit when he throws Pam across the room, no I mean the bit where the nasty little f*(ker sits his lily white ass on the Viking throne. I’m sorry but I’m just not having that (unless your name is Sookie or Pam)  from some jumped up creepy Marilyn Manson wannabe. One of 3 things needs to happen to the shit-bag sheriff please. 1) Pam needs to stake him. 2) Tara needs to stake him. 3) Ginger needs to stake him.

“Northman’s history”, we don’t think so.

Which brings us rather nicely to the main event, that means Eric, just in case you’re new to this site. Over at authority headquarters the female viewers finally get the full frontal they were promised, alas it’s not the one we were all hoping for, and I didn’t pay it much attention as I was too busy smiling at Rev. Newlin for stealing the blessing from the decidedly un-amused Salome. Everyone already loved Molly right? Big sigh of relief that she is one of the good guys, and big hurrah for Molly for being pinned to the wall by our Viking overlord. The poor girl didn’t stand a chance, if she wasn’t already planning an escape, she was frantically booking a one way ticket to Sweden by the end of that little scene. In fact they were so good, if I wasn’t such a long-time Sooric shipper, I’d be setting up a rival “Eric&Mollylovers” blog right now.

So anyway Molric (or shall we go with Erolly?) secretly devise a plan and Eric tootles off to make good with sister Nora. Thankfully when she starts spouting her religious bullshit we already know Eric is playing her to get on her good side. (And if it wasn’t for Godric I’d gladly stake her myself).

Shall we talk about Bill? Yes please. Eric, being a decent sort, wants to include Billy boy in the great escape and asks him to get hold of Salome’s blood to get them out. Big mistake Eric, you should never trust a rattle snake. Off goes Bill to make whoopy with Salome (who treats him to one of her greatest hits – the dance of the veils)………….

Can I just pause for a moment to talk about the male nudity on the show this season, the season that has already brought us a naked Sheriff Andy. Last week it was the grunting Alcide, and this week we had a naked Sam (in a pig pen) and now Bill (my eyes may never recover). Can I say WTF? Will it be Kevin laid out at police headquarters next week? We want some naked Viking and we want it now!

…………..Anyway back to Queen Bill, who still hasn’t learnt that a lady likes at least a little bit of foreplay, and decides to get off on a “draining Sookie” sex dream. Just for good measure Lilith is there too, all not sexy and caked in blood. I think I threw up a little bit in my mouth.

Eric and Molly’s break out is underway and Nora becomes the second lucky lady this week to live the dream (or at least the dream I have most nights) and get pinned against the wall by Eric.

Just for good measure he injects her unconscious; it probably wasn’t necessary as most of us would have become unconscious at that point anyway. But shock, horror, double shocker, Bill has betrayed them and Salome appears with her gay storm-troopers to arrest the fleeing fangers. Eric calls Bill “a fucking traitor”, which I suspect means the bromance is now officially over, and is hauled off, no doubt back to the authority cells.

My closing thoughts? Well there’s two main ones. Firstly, when the hell is Eric finally going to get out of there? It’s fast becoming like a vampire groundhog day. Pam and Tara need him out of there, Sookie needs him out of there, 99.9% of the female audience need him out of there. Cross everything you’ve got for next week, and please don’t let Molly meet a sticky end. And secondly – FUCK YOU Bill Compton, you slimy, douch-bag traitor, you are a pathetic excuse for a vampire, you are so damned weak that you could probably be influenced by a cardboard cut-out and you are not fit to wipe the shit off Mr Northman’s shoes. I sincerely hope that one day soon you meet the grisly painful true death your never-ending false humanity and overblown self importance deserves!

And that’s it for this week. Please feel free to join in and let us know what you thought.

Screen caps are by nymerias for E&SL or Barbara for Skarsgardfans. Eric gif by hotandflustered

About Evie

Admin at "Skarsgard Fans", "Eric Northman Lovers" and "Tarzan Movie 2016". True Blood's Viking Vampire is the fictional love of my life.

31 comments on “Episode 9 Recap: The one with the f%)king traitor!

  1. Totally agree with everything you said about Bill and Eric. I loved Eric in this episode, and Bill is just a prick and deserves to be staked. I do wish Sookie would get rid of all that crap clothing she wears around the house. Those bloody little girl dressing gowns and pyjamas should be burnt. No-one over 15 should dress like that; she’s nearly 30 ffs!

  2. I absolutely love your recaps! Keep them coming :-)

  3. Amen. I totally agree with your statements regarding Bill and Eric. Once again Billy boy has tried to kill off our Viking. Eric just needs to end it. Stake him now.

  4. Loved, loved, loved your recap! You really hit it out of the park with this one! The level of disgust for Bill and his overblown, pathetic character cannot be stressed enough and there BETTER not be any redemption in his future this time! Just having to suffer through yet another grunt, thrust, grunt session is punishment enough for hanging in there with this show hoping for some decent Viking action. You are also right about it being the strongest episode to date. Sadly the bar is very low this year but still, it was the best yet. There were things to like-Go Arlene and Terry! La la was very on again this episode, enjoyed the Pam/Tara stuff and so glad the Ifrit and Dragon storylines wrapped it up. I liked that the fairies seem to be protecting Sookie. Also enjoyed Russell/Steve. I have a big concern about the show writing itself into a corner here with such a “huge, global disaster” storyline. Where do they go from here next year??It just feels like a big ending as if it was the last season it will air and they are going out with a bang. Hope I’m wrong but I really believe we are being showing a big end to something or someone and I also worry that it won’t be anything I would want to happen! Also, I couldn’t agree more about frumpy Sookie. A little more imagination please from costume to hide her pregnancy. This whole thing is about suspending belief so it shouldn’t be a stretch to get us to ignore that particular elephant in the room. How about that full frontal right out of the gate? Was that really necessary? It seriously icked me out!

    • Yeah, the f*ck was that? I couldn’t look at that naked guy on the table, I felt so sad for him and his awkward little pecker and how the actors’ eyes were flashing around the room as in ”don’t look at it, don’t look don’t look, ah crap!”

      Well this episode was ..interesting. I’m glad the ifrit crap is over, and same for the hate group and the Dragon.
      Alcide’s story is a total yawn, I honest to god went to get a drink the first time he was on screen driving in his truck, and when he was at his dads I went to pee. Please get rid of Alcide, he’s a waste of airtime, even more so than Tommy was (and I kind of even liked Tommy, kind of)
      Sookie and Lala were cute, covering up Anna’s babybump is getting more and more difficult, that’s why they needed to cast a Sookie look-alike to stand in.
      I hate beehls guts more than ever, you fucking traitor piece of shit.
      Eric needs a break… Sookie and him need to have some alone time, if you know what I’m saying ;) They’ll both perk up quite a bit and we’ll be happy :D
      The ”new sheriff” needs to fall on something sharp and wooden, asap, that cretin pissed me off big time.
      Glad the dreaded sex scene was a hallucination,phew, and it seems like beehl totally went to the dark side.Well fine, we didn’t like you anyway, you just stay there, no redeeming yourself in the future episodes please, it would be so typical for them to be all forgiven in the end, especially by sookie *rolls eyes*

  5. Loved your recap, couldn’t have said it better myself. You are so right that we are in dire need of some naked viking! The full frontal made me laugh. I was watching and didn’t even see it, I’m sitting there and all of a sudden it hits me that’s it the full Monty or not! How embarrassing for for that guy. Maybe that part should have been done in 3D. In the preview for next week we saw Godric, maybe he helps Eric escape. We shall see.

  6. Enjoyed the accuracy of your recap and Im glad Im not alone in my boredom for Bill he truly is a pathetic character and at this point I think I’d like to see him staked more than Tara and that is saying something..

  7. Evie, I have one word to say about your recap……Excellent. I just loved the way you expressed all of our mutual distain for the evil traitor, Beehl. I was ROTFLMAO on that one. I think that this season is really amping up to be one of the best so far. At least much better than the wishy washy wiccans last year.

    I am feeling a bit sad realizing that we only have 3 more eppys til the end of the season. I can’t believe that the time has flown by so fast this year……

    Keep up the great reviews!!

  8. Loved your recap & thanks ladies for the caps!

    The only thing I enjoyed about the ifrit storyline, was hearing Terry bust out that line about how Arlene is the only reason he is fighting. It was so nice to see them share such a tender moment and see Terry with a clear head.

    I cannot stand the wait until the next episode! This is the one they were filming when I visited the set!! I am really excited to see it on TV!

  9. yea, he’s a f*king traitor that sookie will never see.I’m sick of that sh*t. And if she does get mad at beehl, eric will also get the boot. It’s a loose/loose situation for the viking.

  10. You know what was really disturbing about Bill’s fantasy about biting Sookie was that he was fantasizing more about draining her than his nasty thrusting…did anyone else see that? Very interesting development! He wasn’t making love to her, he was eating dinner! Yowza–so that’s what he really wants from our favorite clueless fairy?! And they are actually showing that? When it was “sexy” time, he envisioned bloody Lilith then Salome–not Sookie….hmmmm.

    So happy the writer, Raelle Tucker of all people!, went there!

    Recap was hilarious, thank you!

    • So in your opinion, does this mean that we are going to finally get what we want? Or are they going to turn it around that it was only bloodlust that lead him to do that. I don’t see Sookie ever letting Beehl go. God, please let the bastard get staked!

      • I hope that in the end Bill ends up being the real bad guy, and not some excuse like ”he was confused” or ”it was the blood from the vile” or ”Salome and Nora manipulated him” or some crap like that. But I have the feeling it will be as I fear.

        Can I just say, beehl is a horrible ”lover”, for lack of a better word, he doesn’t believe in foreplay and is very rough and just sticks it in and you see the unfortunate woman look around while he’s at it as in ”wtf just happened?”. beehl sees a hole, he sticks it in.

        Eric on the other hand… *eyes glaze over…* All his bedmates are lucky. I bet even the skank Yvetta was prepared properly before the 6 hour f*ck-athon.

        • Oh yes! What you said Anja times 100!

        • Agree wholeheartedly about the Bill loving. That love scene with Salome was so gross it can only have meant to be gross. I know some E/S fans didn’t like their love scenes last season but I thought they were gorgeous and in complete contrast with the awful Bill bonking.

          • “Bill bonking”…**giggle, snort!**

          • “Awful Bill Bonking”–give this woman a medal! YES, A THOUSAND TIMES, YES! He has grossed me out since the muddy graveyard sex in season 1. Eeck, and the whole grunting thing he does. No.

            That’s why Eric and Sookies’ love scenes were such a pleasant surprise last season–they were gentle, w actual foreplay and no biting! Even when Bill’s been with other women, it’s always wham bam, no thank you MAN!

            Just gross. And Stephen Moyer is a good looking guy w/ charisma–how do they manage to drain that all away? So gross.

      • The only problem with all this Bill being a total dick is that poor Sookie is not seeing any of it (neither is Jessica). It’s all behind authority closed doors. From the spoilers / hints in the season finale it looks like they will have a scene together but I’m trying not to get my hopes up too much. Best scenario is that he has totally lost it by then and either threatens her or physically tries to attack her. Worst scenario is we get a pathetic finale like last year that almost ended my relationship with the show for good! I do think Alan Ball will want to go out with a bang so I think there will be some real shocks to come.

        • That’s what frustrates me more than anything–Sookie is so hard on everyone else, but excuses Bill at every turn, even when she does know evil stuff he does. We all know the list–dare I hope that his fantasy is actually a bit of foreshadowing? That he will indeed bite Sookie just to get her blood? CUE ERIC!

      • Well, my good friend, Luvvamps, I’m afraid to hope…because I had it all figured out that this would be the season where they finally add up all the clues from before and show Bill as having been in cahoots w/ Salome for decades. My faith in where they are going has been shaken because they do indeed seem to be suggesting Bill is only going dark because the cult’s got him…which is frankly, bullsh#%. Because it has only worked on him and Nora at the end of the day–it seems to me everyone else is playing along w/ Salome, but are not true believers….so at best, are we left to speculate that Bill is just incredibly weak and easily controlled and led? Whaa whaaa. So sick of that cuz it screams excuse and blame the victim–which must be why Sookie felt compelled to apologize….anyway, sorry, still bitter.

        I can honestly say I don’t know where it’s going. The only thing I feel certain about is that Bill does NOT have some master plan to beat Salome. That is even stupider than his gross out groupie sex hallucinations. He has definitely gone openly dark. And I do think he could easily attack Sookie. Alan Ball said in interview earlier this season that some characters may think they are special and can reach the character that is turning out bad, but they will find out the hard way that they can’t reach the new bad guy……I don’t believe he’s talking about Eric….it’s Jessica or it’s Sookie.

        I still wonder if Worlow is Bill honestly, but I can see argument for the vamp/hybrid thing too…that would be the only thing that would get thru to Sookie. Cuz not only would he have done it, he knowingly searched her out and became her lovah after the fact. Yikes.

        I would argue the show only has a few more seasons at most. If you read other sites, even pro Bill ones, the fans are bored and even disgusted by him…to keep him (and the show) watcheable the writers may have decided this is where they have to take him. Maybe this will be Alan Ball’s big dramatic farewell… I just hope we know before this season ends.

        • Kristen, to paraphrase, ” to keep him (and the show) watcheable the writers……….” All I can say is, “from your lips to Gods’ ears”. I would also love the justice in taking the show back to were the focus should be, on Sookie (and Eric, of course). I really am skeptical of this, since this show has always been pro-Bill……. but, since the show jumped the shark so badly a few years ago, I have adapted a “wait see” attitude.

          • I agree, I’m afraid to hope. But they have had Bill be the tragic, tortured “gentleman” (a-hole) for 5 seasons now and even fans who don’t love Eric are bored w/ it. (their word, not mine)…it isn’t fresh or interesting and the writers are much more loyal to shocking twists and turns than any character.

            Though I will say, they are truly doing justice to Eric and i have fragile hope about what his scenes will be like when he’s reunited w/ Sookie….fingers crossed and w/ you waiting to see…

        • It sounds like the ending this year is going to be a real cliff-hanger and it could be that it is has Bill gone completely bad? – and then we have to wait 9 months while the writers decide. I’m still hoping this is the year Sookie sees through him and what a pathetic, weak waste of space he is. In one of the promos for the end of season Sookie says they have to fight him. I’m preying she means Bill but it will probably be Worlow (who a lot of people are speculating fae/vamp hybrid now). I think Alan Ball was definitely talking about Bill turning bad and Sookie trying to reach him but he could be bullshitting us to hype up the tension!

        • So if Beehl is bad and has been bad all along I can only hope (ya I know shame on me), THAT THEY LEAVE HIM BAD! No making him see Sookie and start the love sickness shit all over again. The show needs to take a turn for the better and soon.

        • You know Kristen, I too have said a while ago that I was done hoping for any thing with this show. But I feel that is not who we are. I think we are all just eternal optimists. What else have we got? Maybe just maybe they powers that be will turn this ship around and give us what we all are hoping for. I along with you (and everyone else here) will just have to keep our fingers crossed.

  11. Fantastic synopsis! I can’t believe we have to suffer a seemingly eternal 9 months of waiting and then our 12 episodes are over in the blink of an eye! I don’t know how on earth they’re ever going to spin Bill as a good guy after Episode 9, but I’m sure Alan Ball will find a way somehow…***giant eye roll***

    BTW, this season has had not enough nude Eric and entirely too much nude everyone else!

  12. i couldn’t agree with you more… LOVED this post i also hope Bill Salome and Russel fucking meet the true death and Steven Newlan will return to the f.o.t.s as a self hating vampire!! and Sookie will finally leave her uexplainable affection for Bill and be with Eric like they were meant to!

  13. I absolutely love your recaps! Probably because I seem to be on the same wavelength as you as far as the show goes, and they are concise and funny! I nearly peed myself laughing at the part below. Wish I’d been aware of your site before now.
    “Can I just pause for a moment to talk about the male nudity on the show this season, the season that has already brought us a naked Sheriff Andy. Last week it was the grunting Alcide, and this week we had a naked Sam (in a pig pen) and now Bill (my eyes may never recover). Can I say WTF? Will it be Kevin laid out at police headquarters next week? We want some naked Viking and we want it now!”

    • I never thought I’d be scared of naked dudes on TB, but I’m w/ you all the way. I think they missed the memo on a fan’s idea of full frontal too :) No more dead hot dogs.

  14. To spare my agony of what’s coming up next,
    Sookie: “bill how could you!”
    Beehl: “Whatever, you know you’ll forgive me.”
    Sookie: “You’re right. I forgive you for draining all the humans. It’s eric’s fault anyway. lets hop into bed”
    Beehl: yes, I also slept with Salome.
    Sookie: It’s OK, It’s eric’s fault anyway.
    *A triumphant smile from beehl*

    No matter what Beehl does, the writers always find a way to bail him out. And Eric will always be the bad guy. I’m sick of that sh*t. It’s a clusterf*k obsession with the f*king traitor.

  15. In case anyone wants to know. When Eric pinned Nora to the wall and took her blood he whispered Lita på mig, which means “Trust me” in Swedish.

Comments are closed.


Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 13,298 other followers

%d bloggers like this: