Ok let’s do the sh*t first – and that would be anything that doesn’t involve a faerie, a vampire or (would you believe it) a faerie-vampire hybrid. This episode was so good that even Alcide couldn’t ruin it. Let’s all be thankful that he and Sam have a joint story-line this season so that we don’t have to suffer them both on their own. Do I care who gets Emma? No. Would the show be better if they all caught a bad bout of rabies? Yes.
Now for the good stuff……..
We didn’t even get as far as the opening titles before Warlow’s identify came out into the open, at least for the audience. (And yes, I called it right, so I’m feeling pretty smug today). But that wasn’t the best part, as just after we got the nod on who the devious old so-and-so was, Sookie Stackhouse worked it out for herself, all on her own. And seriously, did that feel good. This is a leading lady the audience can actually get behind! Quite wisely Sookie decided not to involve brother Jason and grandpa Niall in her cunning plan. Quite wisely because those two completely f*cked up. Niall has to be the worst faerie king EVER! (He’s been chasing Warlow for over a thousand years and he didn’t think to find out who his vampire mommy was?)
Why anyone would think it was a good idea to raid the motel room of an ancient and highly dangerous faerie-vampire is beyond me, and taking only Officer Stackhouse for backup was a recipe for disaster. Knowing that their failure was complete, a forlorn Jason utters “goodbye grandpa we tried” and Niall ends up being thrown into purgatory (or somewhere else really bad) .Warlow/Ben (I think I’ll just call him Warlow from now on) left the hapless monarch alive for a second time. Why? Possibly because Rutger Hauer has been paid to appear in further episodes? Or perhaps Warlow is not going to be the straight forward big bad we were led to believe he is?
When the boys make a mess of things, leave it to the girls. Sookie did what every self-respecting young woman would, she invited him to dinner, got dressed up and gave the man food. Her little speech about the reasons she and Bill broke up warmed my heart, it seems she has learnt her lesson after all and she won’t be falling for any more of that crap in the future (fingers crossed). Then it was on to the couch of unfinished sexy action, where Sookie advised Warlow to “get the fuck off me or die!” Her ball of light is ready to go and we’ll have to tune in next week to find out how he manages to get out of this one. (Presuming he does as Nora needs him to lead Lilith to the sun).
Whilst Sookie’s light was shining last night, the other faerie halflings were not far(ae)ing so well. Great, great, whatever grandpa Bill had big plans for 1,2,3 and 4. He’s got a high-tech underground laboratory (fully functioning in the space of what? 12 hours?) and a not so willing scientific genius all ready to go. Their frantic daddy Andy tries to work out where his offspring were, not an easy task when they are aged somewhere between 10 and 50 (listen to Kevin – half of missing kids are taken by a relative!) Things of course never go to plan for Bill, the luckless god-wannabe (*insert snigger here*) as the girls had decided he was “creepy” (yep, and they actually caught him on a good day). Jessica finally lost control and before you can say “I really wish Bill would set himself on fire again” 1,2,3, and 4 are laid lifeless on the floor. Are they dead? Full faeries we know turn to dust upon death, so let’s hold on to that positive thought, and hope that “at least half” of them make it home.
Hopefully I’ve now covered all the main plot points, feel free to add any I’ve missed in the comments. I can’t put it off any longer, it’s time to enter the Viking Zone!
Eric and Pam have high-tailed it after Tara, and Pam, as her maker, quite rightly is about to demand obedience from her. Eric, being Eric, takes matter into his own hands. He wants to know where the girl is. As much as I love him, it was delightful to see Pam stand up to Eric over his treatment of her progeny. Sadly though , her all-new girl power didn’t last too long in this episode, courtesy of those pesky new vampire-unfriendly silver /UV bullets.
Tara has left Willa on the local carousel (a great place for a sexy vampire scene, and note this vampire sits down on the faerie painted seat). Rather than run away as fast as she can, Willa’s sitting it out waiting until Eric calls by. She wants to help him……be careful what you wish for Willa………..never mind it’s too late!
Eric appearing at Willa’s window and the young innocent in white inviting him in was a definite homage to the old European vampire movies that have exited and terrified viewers in days gone by. Eric carrying the panting girl in white to the graveyard was more of the same, much, much more. Was he actually going to do it? Make only his second child in 1000 years? Well this is war, and this was just about the last card the Viking could play. It could be a win/win. Daddy sees his daughter as a vampire and has a change of heart, or daddy sends his daughter to vamp camp and Eric has a way in through his new progeny’s blood. Cue the hottest vampire turning scene ever seen anywhere in the history of anything ever that ever happened.
It was all completely perfect, from the words he uttered (“Everything your father put in you, his cowardice, his small mindedness- his hate,all of it will seep out, and into this vessel I will seed a millennium of wisdom, honor, life.”), to the red, red blood oozing down the back of her white, white dress, and the use of a crucifix in the blood giving process. As a fan of the old-style vampire genre my sudden desire to watch Dracula is only surpassed right now by my all-consuming urge to keep re-watching this scene until my eyes eventually fall out.
Moving on to the next evening, and Willing Willa is now a newly made vampire on speed, not surprising really when she has the blood of a Viking Vampire Sex God pulsing through her veins. She wants to f*ck obviously. But anyone who was worried that daddy’s little girl was the new Sookie Stackhouse in Eric’s life, can now rest assured, Eric has other plans for his new progeny, and the blonde waitress from Bon Temps still remains his only weakness. Willa is sent home to her other daddy, and I have to admit my heart broke a little bit for her. The seductive Viking cruelly took away her life, she expected an eternity by his side, and the first thing he does is send her away.
Some might say she got what she deserved, I don’t agree. I felt for her and I felt for her when she had to be invited in to see Daddy 1, a terrific scene from both Willa and the Governor, with Sarah Newlin also again on despicably top form. Will Willa fulfil the vampire potential that her maker seems to think she has, or will she be a sticky pile of goo by the season’s end? (Watch this space).
So where does this all leave Eric? Fighting a losing battle perhaps? I think we can all guess where he is heading in the episodes to come. Nora, Pam, Willa and the unfortunate Ginger are all on their way to the Vampire Camp and so I think we can safely say that the star of the show won’t be far behind them.
EDIT: Thanks to my fellow fang-banger Beverley for sending me this.
Pictures from HBO (John P Johnson) or Viking Wenches
Sookie/Ben gif by sookiesteeth
Eric/Willa gifs by peachiex