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Let Us Play A Game

Let us pretend for a minute that I am the NEW writer for this final season of True Blood, shall we? I say NEW because if I was the writer from the jump, things would be a lot different from what they are now. Since that is not the case, we now have to play ‘Let’s fix this mess called True Blood’! READY? OKAY!

The ESL Way!

The ESL Way!

EXCESS BAGGAGE

The first wrong to right is to get rid of the characters who are absolutely not needed. You know the ones who bring NOTHING to the story at all and are nothing but filler. One could argue that Bill Compton is not needed but let’s save that FUN for later shall we? *rubs hands together mischievously*

VIOLET

What is the point of her character? No one has an answer because there simply is NO answer. I don’t like people messing with JASON (who is not the brightest crayon in the box) especially from the likes of a bossy, cocky ass bitch who thinks her vampire shit don’t stink. She will be the first to become GOO in OUR final season premiere. NEXT!

ALCIDE

No, there was not going to be a half-naked picture of this man, not on this blog post! Alcide has overstayed his welcome in this viewers opinion. He is nothing more than a plot device and a very bad one at that. He is just the fourth or fifth? in an already highly contested triangle for a certain telepathic waitress’s affections. Don’t you know three is a crowd Alcide? You are next to die on my list. See ya!

JESSICA

I am sorry for those that love Jessica but I have not seen a point to her character in a long time. In fact, I feel sorry for her so I would be doing her a favor for giving her the true death. I would not want her MAKER if he was the last vampire on earth and let’s not forget she is an everlasting virgin due to her immortality. Who wants to go through that ordeal every time they hop in the sack? Enough said!

LETTIE MAE

With a Mom like that, who needs enemies? Enough said. You are not making it past the first episode of the season either because you are going to get your neck tore up by a Hep-V vamp. Poor Tara…speaking of!

TARA

Tara did have a miserable upbringing thanks to the likes of her mother and as a result boy was she bitter. As a human, she has the worst attitude and that became even worse when she was turned vampire. I did feel sorry for Tara for all that she went through but sometimes you have to let it go and not let it consume you. Since we know this is going to happen anyway in the real season premiere (we called it right) I don’t have to say she is next. It just has to happen because she should have stayed gone after she was shot. She would have went out a hero saving one of the best friends she ever had (though at times I daresay that friend did not deserve it). R.I.P Tara finally!

WILLA

I love Willa, I really do. She is smart, funny, witty and strong and Eric always picks wisely. I just wish it would have been done sooner. Eric does not turn someone lightly and he always has a reason so I wish Willa had been thought of for earlier seasons. Since I am essentially fixing the ‘excess baggage’ problems, Willa has to meet the true death. The point of her being turned was never made to her father as he did not truly grasp it so it was all for naught.

THE PROBLEM WITH SOOKIE

In this, the final season I would have Sookie growing a brain. She would have a light bulb moment, a wake up call if you will when it comes to Bill Compton. I don’t think she has thought about all that he has done to her in the short amount of time she has known him. Look, I know Eric is no saint and that no one is perfect but Bill and Eric are as night and day as any others. Eric has lied, check. Bill has lied, check. There are differences between the lies these two told though. Bill’s lies, from the start were all about his own agenda and following orders.

Yeah, he never turned her over to the Queen but we will never know WHY he did not turn her over. He was found out by Eric and was forced to reveal his so-called ‘double agent’ status. That whole storyline never made sense as his job was about spreading discord among the hierarchy so they would tow the Authority line. I digress because at the end of the day, this has all been rehashed and none of it matters anymore. It cannot be taken back or given a do-over, at least on the show.

That is where we all come in, the show is going to do what it is going to do. I love my Viking but I cannot realistically put these two together since Sookie has proven that she does not deserve him BUT I can have Eric offer her some sound advice about Bill Compton in the hopes that she will take it to heart. I know you have seen this before in the comments section on a blog post but I will post it again with a bit more added.

Eric: “I know you and I can never be, too much has happened and I am no longer the guy for you but Bill is not that guy either. If you feel that you are once again softening towards him because he is trying to make amends, remember that your relationship with him started on false pretenses and was built on a lie. Remember the timing and coincidence of your beating by two psychopaths and how he almost killed you. I have lied to you about things and some of them were for my own agenda but I would never have betrayed you in the fashion that Bill has. I would hate for you to end up unhappy and never find a semblance of that ‘girl in the white dress’ again. If I did not think it would wound you deeply, I would give Bill Compton the true death for what he has done to you. I would only do so if your life was in danger, I would not hesitate to so do. Know that I did and still do love you and knowing you has changed me and I did not think that possible. Thank you and I wish you well Sookie Stackhouse”

Sookie spends some time in fairy where she met a male fairy of her very own and she brought him back to Bon Temps, had some fairy babies and they lived happily ever after.

BILL COMPTON
As for him, he meets the true death by none other than Eric, who made good on his promise to Sookie. In a final showdown with this seasons big bad, Sookie was injured and bleeding pretty good and Bill once again could not control himself with the allure of her fairy blood, attacked and was draining her. Eric staked him directly in the heart and he turned to goo one final time. You know because that first time he did so should have done the trick. Eric was just writing a wrong and saving Sookie in the process.

Alexander-Skarsgard-on-Eric-s-priorities-True-Blood-Season-5-Finale-sookie-and-eric-31877748-400-225

ERIC ‘FUCKING’ NORTHMAN

If I still felt that TB Sookie could be deserving of Eric, I would have ended my above passage with Sookie differently. I would be perfectly happy with Eric sitting on his throne at Fangtasia, with that sexy smile and being the King of all Vampires and will Pam at his side as his progeny only. He may not be with Sookie but he watches over her and protects her, sending her the occasional gift.

I could have done better if I had more time but I wanted to get this post out because we are going to continue this ‘GAME’ by running a writing contest/giveaway on how you would write this final season based on the information we DO know. There will be more details coming soon in a blog post, we are still ironing it out. Get those ideas flowing and save them for the writing contest.

In the meantime, how did you like my half-assed attempt at an ending? I wish I had more time to indulge, I would have thought of more details. As usual sound off below!

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About Nymerias

I am an avid book reader and when I am not writing for these two blogs that is what I am doing. I love Boardwalk Empire, Game of Thrones, Big Bang Theory, Criminal Minds, Blue Bloods and many other shows. I am very much looking forward to the Outlander series that will soon be on Starz! I also enjoy classic books and legal thrillers.

43 comments on “Let Us Play A Game

  1. I would have killed off tara in Season 1 and Alcide as soon as he arrived. Tara is nothing but bitchy for no apparent reason and Alcide is just dull and always has been. All he is, is muscles and I don’t think JM is that good an actor – having said that he also has a really boring storyline to follow and that leads to a boring script. Of course I would kill off Bill first but Willa I would keep alive – I agree she should have been bought in much earlier in the show.

    • I would take the Willa thing back if she had not been filler and in terms of excess baggage, she is a late addition. I could have went on and on in that category. James if that is still his name lol, Holly, Hoyts Mom, maybe even Sam but I kept him so as to keep some original cast members.

      I would have never brought Alcide into the show, he was not needed at all.

  2. That sounds about right. We can also kill James. I wish they hadn’t kill of Steve Newlin. He was funny.

    Cool game! Looking forward to more :)

  3. And now I can add killing wordpress to my list! Nice long post and it got eaten by the aether! :(
    Sookie gets tired of Bill’s stalkerish behavior so one night when she’s had enough after a long and hard shift at Merlotte’s (Belfleur’s?) he accosts her on her way from the car to the house. Since she’s taken to carrying a stake in her purse, her car and has one right beside both doors to the house she grabs one and, since Fairy Sookie has come out to play, she stakes him. Fairy Sookie does not mourn someone who does not deserve it, which he doesn’t, but human Sookie (more’s the pity) does and even goes so far as to put his true death date on his headstone.
    Ii will try to add more when I get home from Red Lobster :D. Too frustrated with wordpress right now .

    • LOL not to shabby. If you are a writer, you might want to save a bit of that imagination for the contest that we are still hammering out on the deats on!

  4. Wow! This is a great idea, although I don’t know if I can write well enough to compete in a writing thingy. Are these writings going to be limited to X amount of words or a couple paragraphs or is it going to be like a several chapter “fanfiction” kinda of story?? It will be interesting to read all the various endings, it will kinda be like what they did with the final SVM book written by she who will not be named, since we didn’t even read it and the people who did hated it so much, that I for sure was glad I didn’t read it. Some of the endings they wrote for the book were pretty good, so I hope that this turns out somewhat the same.

    Well I guess I’ll start to think about how to write an ending and “clear” the playing field a bit. Can’t wait for the next post to let us know more details.

    Thanks Nymerias for the awesome idea!!!

  5. Very nice storytelling Nymerias. I’ll give it a go but since I’m a Eric/Sookie shipper to the end, I have a different direction.

    I too am sick of the overbloated cast so my season finale opens with a bang. In the melee of the Hep V vampire attack, besides the token “red shirts”, Alcide & Sam’s girlfriend are mauled/torn apart. (Sorry Sam but your storyline is boring and Alcide should have been a rug 2 seasons ago.) Bill is staked by Andy while in the middle of monologue about how he would die for Sookie (Karma) and Jessica manages to get the upper hand and end Violet.

    Lala rescues Lettie Mae & Tara, whose just finished feeding from her mother and the three head for Sookie’s. Arlene survives but is so shook up, packs her kids up and flees in the night, never to be heard from again. Merlottes is once again restored and Sam goes back to being the background character he was intended to be.

    Jason, Sookie & Jessica meet up with Lala & Co. at Sookie’s. Tara calls Willa at Fangtasia, warning of the invasion and telling Willa to go home with Ginger. Sadly, on their way, Ginger and Willa find themselves between Hep V vamps & vigilante militia guys. Willa is staked and Ginger is shot. I’ll miss Ginger’s scream, but she’s served her purpose as did Willa.

    Tara continues trying to reach Pam who has been gone for months and as she leaves the umpteenth message asking for her “motherfuckin’ maker,” there is a knock at the door. It’s Eric and Pam. We see the happiness and relief in Sookie’s eyes as she invites them both in.

    The season revolves around destroying the Hep V vamps, exposing & exterminating Sarah Newlin and finding a cure for the infection. Tara finds out Lettie Mae was working for Sarah Newlin and purposely infected her so Pam literally tears Lettie’s head off in retribution. Adeline’s blood is found to be the cure for Hep V and Jessica once again employs Dr. Takahashi to synthesize it. He finishes just in time to cure Tara. She and Pam relocate to New Orleans where Tara starts a Vampire MMA club that becomes a major industry.

    Jessica inherits Bill’s house and turns it into a home for orphaned vampires after the Hep V epidemic is over. She and Jason try to make a go of it but in the end, they remain good friends and Jess watches over Jason and his eventual family all of their days.

    Eric and Sookie work closely together ALL SEASON, like in almost every episode, and the old playful banter is back but Eric never pushes anything. He finds contentment just being around his saucy Sookie. Sookie doesn’t quite know what to do with her feelings but she appreciates having the old Eric to talk to, even if he can’t stop with the innuendos. In the final episode, when all is back to normal, we see Sookie serving Maxine at Merlottes before waving goodbye to Sam for the evening. She goes home and the camera pans to her bedroom window where we see her flitting around, changing her outfit 2 or 3 times, fixing her hair in several styles before finally deciding to let it hang in soft waves. We are now in the bedroom with Sookie viewing her reflection as she finishes applying her lipstick. There’s a knock at the door and we see her reflection smile brightly. She bounds down the stairs and throws open the door. Eric is standing there in head to toe black looking absolutely amazing. He hands Sookie a single red rose and as she smiles and takes it he says, “The movie is at 8. We have just enough time for dinner.”

    Sookie nods, steps outside and as the door closes behind her, she takes Eric’s hand, looks up and says. “It’s a date!” -Fade to Black-

    • Wow! That was epic, you should have saved that but I am sure you have more in you!

    • This is why we should write for the show, any of us would do a much better job. And as much as I was never crazy for Willa, I don’t want her to die just because she’s part of Eric’s family. He’s already lost enough.

      • I agree with tj6james6-HBO should have hired hippychikfanfiction to write TB! I love the way her mind works. :)

        Love your post, Nymerias. :)

        I have no interest in Jason’s latest rapist Violet.

        I’ll be VERY generous in saying that I found Alcide mildly interesting in his introductory season 3, but mainly because of the company he kept (Eric, Russell, Debbie, Cooter, etc.). Even back in 2010, I thought HBO overhyped JM as the Second Coming of Skarsgard (but I tolerated it because I thought I could trust the show). I grew to dislike him in s4, in s5 I grew to hate him (and fast-forward), and I fast-forwarded through all of him in s6. I have no interest in watching him and Paquin simulate sex in s7, esp. since we already know he’s just a placeholder for Bill or Sam, so what’s the point of the charade?

        LOVE Adina Porter; no longer interested in abuser Lettie Mae.

        GLAD you put Jessica on your list. Again, I love Deborah Ann Woll, and I understand that Jessica seems to be a popular character, but I feel Jessica is spinning her wheels with no forward momentum. I respect that she has been abused by her human family of origin and by her Maker Bill, but, like other TB characters, she NEVER gets out of the cycle of abuse. I’m tired.

        I don’t dislike Willa; I just don’t understand her purpose in the story. No disrespect to Amelia; I’m just not sure that Willa was necessary. Maybe I would have been more open to Willa myself if, as you suggested, she had been introduced earlier in the story.

        I don’t care about Beel. It’s obvious the writers do. The final eps are already written. Whatever.

        I think Eric WILL end up back at Fangtasia with Pam at his side (and maybe Willa too). And Charlaine Harris will be around too…

        Sookie will always love her rapist Bill. For years, I mainly chalked it up to her consuming ungodly amounts of his blood (as other have detailed much more wisely than myself). But, that won’t be explored anymore. I go to fanfiction for my Sookie/Eric fix.

        I have to respectfully disagree with you about Tara. I was intrigued by the possibilities when Ball turned Tara into a vampire (suggested by Lafayette, backed up by Sookie, turned by Pam, which meant that Tara was now “related” to Eric, and Tara was Sookie’s childhood BFF, so maybe this might have meant that paths might have crossed at some point), but alas, Tara/Pam barely got screentime in s5, and then they were erased and Tara was pretty much ignored in s6 until the finale Lettie Mae scene. Maybe Rutina wanted to leave (so we can “say” it “out loud” now, right? :) ) and Buckner wanted to make a “splash?” (“See, I have the b*lls to kill ‘major’ characters like Terry Bellefleur and Steve Newlin and Tara, unlike Ball, who kills seasonal villains and Jesus and Nan Flanagan and says those are major kills.”) Tara was wasted potential. Again with this show.

        “Daily” rant over. Thanks. :) :) :)

    • Awesome, love it I personally would fade to black when she opens the door and let all of us fan girls sigh because we know the truth….

  6. Dear HBO–Please, hire hippychikfanfiction to rewrite what you’ve already effed up for this season! :D. Awesome job!

    • I know right?! That was aces!

      • It was :). The b/f and I were talking about this during dinner and, depending on what the challenge, we might just enter one together :). He’s been my sounding board forever and he has some truly awesome ideas :).
        Any idea on how long it’ll be until we hear what the contest is, when, timeline, etc.?

      • Thanks for the votes of confidence Ladies. Not sure how much of the muse is left as it has been repeatedly beaten down, but we’ll see. :)

        • You’re quite welcome :). I hope the muse comes back to visit because I would LOVE to see how the whole season plays out in your head since we know HBO will make it a mudslide of boredom or outright anger at what they’ve done. What are they going to do? Pull a Little House on the Prairie and blow the whole town up?

          • That thought actually crossed my mind, blow the whole thing up so no one else gets to use the stupid ideas and be done with it.

          • I’m glad I didn’t have coffee in my mouth, lol, my computer would have been wearing it.
            My thinking is that story wise it would maybe destroy whatever it is that keeps attracting all these supernatural creatures to Bon Temps and then I remembered the Little House finale where they did blow up the town to keep developers or some such from getting their hands on all the townspeople’s hard word..
            The last few season of Little House were just as lame so I’m wondering if the new writers are maybe children or grandchildren of the LH writers, lmao.

  7. When my reply went poof I had put in that I wouldn’t have killed off Steve Newlin because I like the irony of the biggest bigot being what he was bigoted against.

  8. loved every word you said…. they done F’d up TB many seasons ago and if they had listened to the fan base and not ABall’s then the final season would have been epic not a failure. but like you said it is to late to worry about that now. KY

  9. gtreat post! but regarding eric i would give him a spinoff series without sookie or all the other charecters to satisfy this fandom and myself :) as for sookie i would turn her into a vampire as punishment for being so fucking annoying and stupid all along the show!

  10. OH I know how I want it to end. I have already played it out in my head. I’ll save it for the contest. Looking forward to it!

  11. I have been amusing myself trying to figure out how each person dies and just got a giggle out of this one. Remember Sam turning into a fly to get out of jail during season 2? Well, he turns into a fly to get out of another fine mess (most likely caused by Stoopie (I can’t take the credit for that one, unfortunately.) only this time he’s swatted to death, lmao! I thought it would have been hilarious then and even more so now :D.

  12. This is a bit off topic from the thread but thinking of CH I wonder why they involved her in an eric scene knowing how polarizing she is for eric fans now Why do that? Why not have her film sookie and bill last scene or just sookie? Its as if they really want to stick it to the eric fans

    • I think that would be the reason but I can easily ignore her, especially with the Viking in the scene. I don’t hate CH or dislike her as a person. I just can’t respect or trust her as a writer. I know some don’t hold the same views and I am okay with that.

    • Considering what she did to Eric in the final book(s) perhaps she’s trying to make amends?
      Nymerias I can agree with you about not respecting her as a writer any more. I was going to try some of her earlier works once I finished the SVM series for the umpteenth time but the more books that came out the less and less I liked how Sookie was sliding back into her shell and liking herself less and less. She had done an awesome job of bringing Sookie out of herself for the original number of books but when she got the extension it all went to shite and the last few books were not nearly as good (not that I read the last one or the co-dumb).

      • I really don’t like her as a person or author, she’s made it very clear how little she cares about her fans. It was only about the money for her, why else would she have dragged the books out and given it an ending that makes no sense whatsoever? I think her being in an Eric scene is to stick it to all of us, she could care less about making amends.

  13. I agree i do not dislike her person but as a writer im done perhaps incorporating her is their way of trying to repair some of the damage it is for certain she lost a bog chunk of fan base i have no desire to ever read anything else of hers

  14. When did this turn into the “reasons I hate CH” thread?

  15. Nice rewrite! I would kill of Willa ASAP, she never grew on me. I always liked how careful Eric was in choosing who he would share his blood with, I disliked them writing him as using it as a tactic to get one over on her father. However I’ve felt Eric would not have shared his blood on a few other occasions on TB as well.

    Hmmm…. I agree Sookie no longer deserves Eric so….

    Arlene moves away because the Bon Temps drama finally becomes too much. Sam takes over his bar again and his girlfriend gets killed by Hep V vamps, leaving him alone to run his bar once again.

    Sookie stays working at Merlotte’s and ends up in the same damn place as season one, because she has regressed anyway… so why not. She stays there and pretends to be human for the rest of time, gets old, and never has sex again. But she gets a new cat and names it Viking for some odd reason.

    Lafayette works at Merlotte’s but spends his nights working at Fangtasia as a bar tender with Tara. He is able to let loose and have some fun and reconnects with his cousin. Tara and Laf have seriously discussed eventually turning him, since he would make a kick ass and hilarious vampire.

    Eric cuts off contact with Sookie. There is no reason to waste time on someone who does not deserve his loyalty. He does hear from Tara that she’s safe though. Eric runs his bar with Pam at his side with plans to take over as King.

    Down the road Eric becomes King of the state with Pam as his second. Tara and Laf run Fangtasia.

    Bill tries to worm his way into Eric’s hierarchy by offering to try and rope Sookie back into the supernatural world, so Eric can make use of her telepathy. He is willing to make her fall for him again, or just force her into it. Eric immediately sentences Bill to the true death…. but first he gets tortured a bit. Then he dies forever.

    Alcide… well he just runs off to be a lone wolf somewhere. Unlike many I never hated him, I’m just neutral towards him. He never had much of a story line to play with so the actor had little to work with.

    the end

    • Well, I like the killing and torture of Bill part, but I hate the idea of Eric being King. I never got the impression he wanted that, but anyone would be better than Bill. That made no sense whatsoever.

      • What I really mean by King I think is that he would be the Vamp everybody would look up to and rely on as well as revered and feared. I guess like he was in the beginning.

        • Exactly, in the beginning Eric just gave you this sense of awe and power. Plus I really would just never want Bill to have the chance to be king again. I could see Eric taking over, straightening shit out then leaving it to someone he trusts. That way he has an ally and a powerful one at that.

      • Yes, the only reason that popped into mind was so he would be in that position instead of Bill. He’s way more deserving of it. Plus it would make it oh so easy for him to kill old billy. Once that was done he could fly off to Sweden and live in an igloo if he wishes lol.

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